disclaimer: dont take any of this too seriously, but consider them nonetheless. enjoy.
So how does it work, this whole situation of relationships? Do you graduate through ranks and slowly gain the most important of relationships? And if so, what is the relationship most highly prized? In what form does it most healthily exist? Is this relationship a friend that one can count on? A spouse? A spouse that is a friend? What starts the process? Just one person reaching out? I daresay it would be a foolish thing to think the actions of only one could found a relationship. Yes, an initiative must be taken, but it also must be received. A hello—and its counterpart hello. Perhaps solely the meeting of eyes. But I don’t make lightly of this occasion. A meeting of eyes is more than superficial contact. It is a penetrating vision into another’s soul. It is reciprocated. This is more than looking into another’s eyes, it is seeing. And so in one way or another this first contact is made. An understanding is somehow hammered out as to what the relationship will be. Firstly acquaintances. Through the body language and the aura that surrounds them. Both have already made a preliminary supposition as to what the other is, and makes a choice. The first impression has already branded both. There might have been only one defining moment that summed up a whole person’s being. Sad to reflect upon really, that a person can be taken up in a glance, and “known” for what they are. And then the guessing game begins, where both use their finely tuned senses to understand the situation between them. Wondering how the other feels, and usually settling for friends. Perhaps one has already set their mind against even that. In which case the other, if they possess enough sense about them, will understand and remove his or her presence with as little commotion as possible, in order not to “hurt” anyone. Damage done here can be horrific. The rejected feel bitter, resentful, and often internalize their anger. It is a sad thing to see. But perhaps the two in question strike it off, and are friends they enjoy each others presence and converse on various levels of importance. One conversation may include the weather, ones work, or interests “small talk.” An important element will come into play in the relationship if it develops, called trust. An essential thing that is generally a founding part of a relationship. One may prove trustworthy, and in return the other also might be worth trusting. The richness of the conversation deepens, and confidence is gained. Both understand each other, and are relieved but strangely burdened at the same time. The guessing game continues. Here the defining moment is put into play. One may want more, both may want more, or neither. The first is an incompletion, a lacking thing. The last more simplistic, and the second something beautiful. But in the case of the first and second, something must be done nonetheless. One of the involved must relinquish the information. It is crucial in explaining the behavior exhibited. There are those who can hide these things well. But inside it is a pit, a blemish, a cyst. Gnawing slowly away. And once it is set out in the open a great gamble takes place. A coin toss set in motion. Lots cast, with the odds (as always) in favor of the house. The male is the one expected to make this motion. To put himself in the danger; in the place of vulnerability. Now, ladies, please don’t take this motion lightly, for it is one of the hardest things a man will do. Here I will explain a mindset that has come to my attention. There is a thing in a man’s mind that expects rejection. For the man knows of its possibility and is afraid of it. For, after all, it is a harmful thing to his feeling. So the man observes more than one possibility. This is not to mistake for disloyalty! There is an extent where this is a disgusting thing, but many only slightly near this line. For each man knows of his expectations to fail, and each hopes not to fail, but in case of failure here, the man creates a “backup.” Something that he can continue to hope for even if he is “shot down.” Now this will not continue after one succeeds, but until then it is only a form of hope, and a way to displace the devastating emotional hurt received during rejection. For women I can only imagine the difficulty faced in this particular area as well. From what I observe, women want to look nice for the perspective males, but are all too often mistakenly taken up as “backups.” The female then has to find a way to give hints to the male. Choosing words carefully as to offend as little as possible the feeling of the male. I do not envy this position either.This of course is not indicative of every female, but this entire train of thought is only in a general sense, for all males are not of this particular form as well. By telling the male that the female, herself, and he are only friends, they do not ward off all hope of the male. It is commonly known that in its initial stages, a “friend” is a testing ground in order to further understand the male. Or so it is perceived. Once the friend zone has been entered and maintained for an adequate amount of time, the state is considered to be semi-permanent. For I have heard the saying if you have not, that a friend is a boyfriend on ice. That it is a boyfriend behind glass. And the female only need to break the glass in case of emergency. I DO NOT pretend to offer this discourse of my mind as a definitive guide to relationships, and I do not recommend taking this as solid advice. For I only guess at what the thoughts are that drive the actions of a relationship. For once the gamble has been cast, and if a lucky seven appears, the real relationship has begun. Loyalty, trust, honor, care, faith, hope and love. Probably with so many essential things left out.
d:- D
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